Yann Tiersen made "Dust Lane" after his mother's death, and so it's an album that's meant to be one that expresses the mourning of death and the joy of life. I felt like the song, Ashes captured the essence of his album. It was strange for me to come by this song again, today because this morning as I was playing a song from Explosions in the Sky for Mehdi, he asked me "Is it just music? No lyrics?" And it got me thinking about how songs without words say what they want to say. It seems that it's more difficult for these artists, because the lyrics are the emotions they put behind the instruments."Ashes," takes me right to the edge of death and then back to Spring.
This week feels like a year! Monday, I lost it emotionally while arguing with someone. I got more upset than I've ever gotten upset in my life. Nothing has ever shattered me as that argument did, the yelling, the insults. And in the end, I was much more angry at myself than I was with the man who was not even worth my time to begin with. In the heat of the argument, I saw a side of myself I had never seen before. Frankly, a side I didn't even know I had. An angry, ugly side. Actually, a lot of people saw it since (embarrassingly) this was in public. At home, when all I did was replay the night in my head for hours through the night, I realized how much energy it takes to dislike someone. It literally drains energy to be negative about someone. It takes way too much to hate. Far, far, far more than it takes to love. So the opposite of love, I suppose, is indifference.
